By Robert C. Solomon
Romantic love could commence with sexual ardour, however it is guided and nurtured by way of principles the fanatics have approximately their selves and the area, in line with this collage of Texas philosophy professor. Solomon defines romantic love as an emotional strategy that's reciprocal and acceptable basically among equals. A lover may possibly supplement what's top in us, embrace values we percentage or motivate beliefs we try after. In any occasion, love endures merely while it forges a conceptual bond, all people viewing the other's life as essential to whole one's self. during this clever, witty, adventurous essay, Solomon sheds gentle on love at the beginning sight, no matter if opposites allure, counterfeit emotion, the euphemism (and act) of ""sleeping together,'' possessiveness, the necessity of fans for privateness and the significance of fights in a fit courting. His re-visioning of affection favors Plato's suggestion of the merger of 2 souls over Freud's view of affection as sublimated erotic feeling.
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Additional resources for About Love: Reinventing Romance for our Times
The two are often conflated, and courtly love in particular is often reduced to the ridiculous image of the amorous but frustrated troubadour singing pathetically before the (very tall) tower of some inevitably fair but also unavailable lady. But the point of courtly love was not frustration. It was a renewed appreciation of the beauty and importance of sex, but although the sexual consummation of love was the explicit goal of courtship, this was not, in an important sense, its purpose. Courtly love was an aspiration for perfection, using sex as its prod, encouraging good manners ("chivalry") and courage, articulateness and poetic creativity.
And then, Othello loves Desdemona so much, he flies into a rage and strangles her. This is love? The critical question does not always look forward; sometimes it looks back. After six years the love affair ends in disaster. " It is always hard to recapture previous feelings, especially when they have been washed over with suspicion and bitterness. One tries to remember the good times, block out the fights and misunderstandings, imagine tender moments, but the doubt does not go away. One is tempted to say "What does it matter?
What distinguishes romantic love is, more than anything else, its importance for its own sake-not as a means to have children, not 56 ABOUT LOVE as a celebration of God. It is the emotion itself (not the sex which prompts it) that is important, quite apart from its role or conse- . quences in society. To celebrate love for its own sake meant~' giving primary attention and trump status to personal preferences and feelings, even when they were irrational and selfdestructive and contrary to the good of everyone.